Dinner In Los Angeles

In the race to be more competitive, we sometimes confuse what is hard with what is valuable.

from The Creative Monopoly, NY Times op-ed, by David Brooks

In the race to be more competitive, we sometimes confuse what is hard with what is valuable… the competitive spirit capitalism engenders can sometimes inhibit the creativity it requires.

…

You know somebody has been sucked into the competitive myopia when they start using sports or war metaphors. Sports and war are competitive enterprises. If somebody hits three home runs against you in the top of the inning, your job is to go hit four home runs in the bottom of the inning.

But business, politics, intellectual life and most other realms are not like that. In most realms, if somebody hits three home runs against you in one inning, you have the option of picking up your equipment and inventing a different game. You don’t have to compete; you can invent.

Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat. - F. Scott Fitzgerald

  • S: Bernstein, gershwin, scrabble—are you trying to seduce me??
  • C: absolutely.
  • S: You had me at bernstein.

Winning. Eventually.

I played lacrosse in high school. Games nights were a big deal. I still remember my first game starting with the Varsity team (or what should have been my first starting game, had I not decided to take a trip to the Getty with my history class and missed the line up). And when a referee blew a call, it was worth an uproar. At least it seemed like it. But when our cries and exclamations got out of hand, our coach would intervene with a time out. He’d pull us into a huddle and calm our fury and frustration with a stern reminder. “Pick your battles.”

“Pick your battles” became my mantra on and off the field. I’d become acutely consciousness of the phrase at every intersection or punch. “Is this worth it? How do I want to spend my energy? Could my time and attention be better spent?” Then, somewhere along the lines, I forgot I had a mantra. For a time, I’d reach a divergent path, or encounter a blow, and I’d forget I had the power to pick. I’d battle them all. Or I’d do the motionless, dear-in-the-headlights dance, ignoring the impending collision so I wouldn’t have to decide how to respond.

I didn’t realize my mantra went missing until I picked up a replacement. Recently, one of our co-directors at Advancement Project stepped into the coaching role and offered our staff a reminder. “It’s better to be on the losing side of a battle that will eventually win, than to be on the winning side of a battle that will eventually lose.” I can’t say I consciously chose to raise this flag as my mantra to fly once more, but all the same, its there. In a flash, as I’m contemplating a new idea, or deciding where I want to stand and how I want to fall, I hear those words.

On another note: Apparently battles resonate with me.

Contagious?

  • Coughing man: On a guy it sounds like a cold. On a woman it sounds good.
  • Coughing me: I'll have to use this cold to my advantage then.
  • Coughing man: Do. I promise, it will be extremely effective.

Power, at its best, is love

“Power, properly understood, is nothing but the ability to achieve purpose. It is the strength required to bring about social, political, and economic change… There is nothing wrong with power—if power is used correctly. You see, what happened is some of our philosophers got off base. And one of the great problems of history is that the concepts of love and power have usually been contrasted as opposites. Polar opposites. Now we’ve got to get this thing right. One of the things that is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power, at its best, is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love.” 

from Martin Luther King Jr, 6 August 1967, “Where Do We Go from Here?,” Delivered at the 11th Annual SCLC Convention, Atlanta, Ga. 

Listening to The Black Organizing Network’s “Liberating Dr. King: The L’s Coming” mix.

New rules

New rule for the new year: never shop with a grocery cart. Baskets are the only way to combat the “Yes, I definitely need this bottle of wine. And this one. And this one” mentality. I even bought fennel. I’ve never even cooked with fennel. Seriously, this grocery cart caused a 100% increase in my grocery bill. Never again.

Second new rule: make pint-sized friends. They send the best Christmas cards (even if they do show up on January 4th).